Back again!

Looong overdue, but back after a long hiatus. I've still been riding the bus, but not as often depending on my schedule. If you've read Bussted before, welcome back. For any new readers,  I do have a few stories to share : the good, the bad, the weird ones, the funny ones. And if you have a bus story, please share it!

The things that can happen when you have a bunch of strangers in a big vehicle are unlimited...

This Just Can't Be Summer Love ...

The heat can make people do some crazy things. Combine that with a little bit of love at first sight, plus  the every day interesting things that happen on the bus, and here's what happens ...

At a stop on the way home the other day, a girl was trying to get on the bus, but the guy walking beside her apparently was trying to change her mind by talking to her and blocking her way. When they finally got to the door of the bus, everyone could hear the conversation.

"Dude! This is my bus! I need to get on here!". He reluctantly moved so she could get on. But he wasn't done yet. She sat down at a seat in front and he got on the bus.

"Just ... Just .. Hold on a sec. Can I just talk to you for a minute?".


The bus driver interrupted. "Your fare please." 


The guy did the self pat down, and of course he had no fare. "Hold on, hold on  ... "


"Buddy! I gotta go home. Just go!"

Again the driver interjects. "Do you want him on here?"

I thought it was obvious, but I guess the driver just wanted to be sure. The girl immediately said no,  so the driver told him to get off the bus. The guy stepped out slowly, and walked along the side of the bus, looking through the windows at the girl, who now sat looking at the floor, laughing and shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh my god, do you believe that guy?" she said to the passengers beside her as the bus finally started to move. She must have been glad that was over, having a little laugh to herself.

But then like a low budget version of a Terminator movie, it still wasn't over. Some passengers started laughing and pointing. What was this? The guy was running along the sidewalk, in and out of pedestrians - chasing the bus as we slowly picked up speed. This guy was determined! Soon he was left behind of course.

But was he? A couple of stops later, someone says, "What the? There he is again!" This was crazy at this point. Fueled by infatuation, he somehow managed to catch up to the bus. The girl tried to tell the driver not to let him on, but before she could, he got on, now visibly sweating and out of breath.

Swallowing a gulp of air, hands on his knees, he finally managed to get some words out as he looked around.

"Where is she?" He was obviously disoriented, as she was sitting a few feet away from where he stood. But of course, we bus riders stick together. No one was going to say a word. On top of that, we just wanted to get home. With no answer from anyone, he did the universal downward swipe in the air to show that he'd finally decided to give up. He walked off of the bus, disappointed.

As for the girl, she seemed to take it all really well and just laughed about it.

Poor guy. He was love struck, and persistent, and probably a little buzzed. Don't worry man, you'll find yourself another summer love ...

The Smells on the Bus Go Round and Round

You knew it would eventually come up on Bussted. You could probably say its long overdue. 

Its the subject of foul odour when riding the bus. Most times the ride is fine. Just normal, everyday scents. But when certain people get on, that changes really quickly.

I'm lucky enough to work flexible hours at my job, but taking a bus after 9 a.m. comes with a price. 

Just before the bridge to downtown, there's a guy that gets on the bus who carries an almost indescribable odour. And he seems to always sit 1 or 2 seats away from me.

Imagine going for a 10k run in 30+ degrees weather in a turtleneck (no deodorant allowed!). When you finally finish, you douse yourself in chicken stock. Then you empty your spice rack onto the ground and roll around in all of the spices. That would be the best way I could describe this smell  If I didn't know better, I would guess that would be his daily routine.

To add to this, he's got a friend, who looks like he could possibly be his brother. Sometimes they get on the bus together, other times a stop apart. They both have the same odour, so it's a double dose of stank. I call these guys "the Stank Brothers".

The Stank Brothers don't look dirty. They're well kept guys, maybe just wearing track jackets, jeans, and clean white sneakers. You could be deceived by their appearance. But man, that smell!

And what is it with people leaving their house smelling like food? Good food scents usually don't translate into good body scents. I mean, steak and eggs in the morning smells great when its cooked, but that smell should not be on your skin. A shower or a quick wash up is nothing to be afraid of.

I need to get back to taking the early bus.

Birds of a Feather ...

Maybe I'm old school. It's no secret that I'm a fan of (good) hip hop music, but I just can't get down with some of the styles I see today. On the ride in the morning, I see this kid get on and sit down, wearing a black jacket with random shiny gold symbols all over it.

I think more of the new school hip hop gear is like that, but I could never personally rock that type of clothing, it's just not for me, but that's their personal choice, and they're confident enough to wear it. I mean, wouldn't their friends probably wear the same type of gear?

The answer to this question in this train of thought came soon enough.

A few stops later, another kid gets on the bus wearing an even more interesting jacket. This one had black, brown, and white squares, each featuring a different headline about the death of Tupac. I'll admit I don't mind a few Tupac songs. I was more of a Biggie fan, but I again, wouldn't want little pictures of Biggie with different news headlines all over my jacket.

The guy walks down the aisle and recognizes the shiny jacket guy, they chat for a bit and continue the ride. Enough writing though. You all know the saying, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Holiday Blues?

Back from hiatus, bussted is here again for 2011. I plan on playing with the layout a bit, so I hope you don't mind.

One thing I really noticed recently is that people really don't like going to work after holidays. No newsflash, I know, but it is so obvious on that first bus ride after the holiday.

When I get on in the morning, there are just a few people, but it fills up pretty quick. On a normal day, there are conversations, music, etc... After a holiday, it would be hard to tell the difference between a bus full of death row inmates and a transit bus full of people on their way to work a 9 to 5. I mean it's silent. Eerily silent, such that the only sounds you hear are the humming of the bus engine, a few sniffles, and of course the occasional sigh. I've witnessed this a few times now; it takes about a day for things to get back to normal. It makes me wonder what's on people's minds. Were the holidays fun? Did things go horribly wrong? Did someone's aunt have a bit too much and go on a rant that was beyond embarrasing? My guess is the answer is yes for all of them. The bus ride will return to normal, with interesting sights and conversations. Until the next long weekend ...

Look Both Ways ...

Today, I noticed the bus slowing down to almost a stop, but we were nowhere near a bus stop. People started pointing, and I looked over to my left, where I saw a man lying on the street at the crosswalk, on his back in front of a GMC Acadia , and a woman with a cellphone standing over him. His hat was about 20 feet away. He slowly moved to a sitting position and started yelling at the woman and pointing up at the crosswalk lights. By this time, other drivers were getting out of their vehicles to help.

Now, I just missed the hit by a few minutes, so I can't say what really happened or whose fault it was. One piece of advice I can give to pedestrians is the same as what your Mom told you growing up. Look both ways before you cross the street. You need to be a smart pedestrian. Too many people think the crosswalk button activates the brakes on all vehicles in a 20 foot radius, so they hit the button and don't even break their stride or look before they step off the sidewalk. I've seen a lot of pedestrians almost get hit this way, and a lot give drivers the evil eye after they've slammed the brakes to avoid hitting them. I almost hit a guy on a bike the other day because he flew across the intersection - and he was riding on the wrong side of the street. I know you have the right of way as pedestrians, just keep this in mind - a car is usually a thousand pounds plus of steel and glass going faster than you can run, and they're driven by regular people like you and me who sometimes make mistakes or who are distracted. There's a good chance that you could be hit anytime that you're crossing any street, so you have to be smart about it and follow Mom's advice.

Here's a related clip for a good laugh. If you've seen the original, I think this one is even better with this music ...

Inception Ice Cream Truck Out of Nowhere - watch more funny videos

!!! WARNING !!!

I'm behind on the blog again, and this one comes with a warning. Not for those with a weak stomach. If you're looking forward to lunch in a few minutes, don't read this now. If you just had breakfast, don't - well you get the idea. My friend in Dubai heard a story relayed by a Winnipeg Transit driver. People reveal waaaay to much to drivers sometimes. Here it is: 

"Was stuck in traffic with some dirty pig telling me about how he got fecal matter in a cut on his testicles and needs surgery because of the infection.. Which is why he has a hard time climbing the stairs on the bus!! What do you even say to that?"

Ugghh. Told you.

Aging Gracefully

Old people have a choice. They can either accept their age or be crabby about it. I hope when I get there I'm not a crabby one. A group of seniors was on the bus one morning and they were all smiles. One of them stood up to get up, and one of her girlfriends didn't even hesitate for a minute as she said, "Stay out of trouble Gladys!". then reached over and smacked Gladys' bum before she got off the bus. The other ladies were having a good laugh at that.

At the next stop, an old man with a cane got on. He walked to the middle of the bus and put one leg across the 3 seat bench, and the other on the floor as he held his cane. Didn't care who was watching, he was taking ALL 3 seats, because that's just what he felt like. Now that's what I call aging gracefully.

Thinking Outside the Box

Rode the bus a while back and there was a group of daycare kids, must have been at least 10 of them on the bus with 2 daycare workers. As we passed over the bridge crossing the Red River on the way downtown, one of the workers said to the kids jokingly, "Who wants to go swimming in there instead of the pool?".

If you live in Winnipeg, you know that the Red River is not exactly the cleanest river around. It could actually be called the Brown River if it the name was based on what it looks like. There was of course a lot of noise and a chorus of "Eeew"s and "No way!", and "Yuck!" when the question was asked. Of course there had to be one kid who shouted over everyone, "I do! I do!"

Now that is one kid who really loves swimming. Maybe the next Michael Phelps.

Creepy Old Drunk Guy

Yup. Not much of a clever title for this one, that pretty much says it. And no, it wasn't Nick Nolte as he looks in the pic above, but close. But why was this guy creepy? Read on.

I took the bus after working late one day last week, and I have a pretty strong theory about transit bus passengers. The later it gets, the more strange people get on the bus. Kind of like that funky old hip hop classic goes, "The freaks come out at night". Whodini was right on with that one. The freaks will be out even as early as 6 p.m..

I'm sitting near the front of the bus, and a stop or two later, this guy gets on and sits in front of me. This guy reeks of alcohol and you can tell that he's out of it. He happens to sit down beside a blonde girl, probably in her mid 20's, and this is where the creepiness starts.

The guy looks at her. Then he looks her up and down. Then looks forward again. Then looks at her. Then looks her up and down. Then looks forward for a bit. Repeat. I mean it was very obvious, and I'm sure she was uncomfortable. At the next stop, the seat in front of him opens up, so he gets up and moves there. I swear I could hear a sigh of relief from the girl.

So now, the guy is sitting in the seats that face each other at the front of the bus, usually reserved for elderly and women with young children. And just when I thought he wouldn't be making anyone uncomfortable anymore, a mother and her friend get on with a baby in a stroller and sit directly across from drunkie. The guy is kind of wobbly in his seat, and soon he focuses on the baby. The mother is talking to her friend, and he leans forward, gets up and touches the baby's hand and smiles. I'm sure the mom must smell the beer on him if I can, but she gives the man a weak smile.

A moment later, he touches the kid's hand again, then he touches the kid's face, then pokes the kid's belly, and is chuckling to himself. I'm thinking, at what point do you tell a stranger - a drunk old creepy stranger - something like, "Hey - stop touching my kid" ? But the mother doesn't said a word. If that was my kid, I'd stop him right away. It seemed that it was inevitable that there would be a scene where the mom yells at him to stop, the driver pulls over, and the cops are called, but the mom never said a word. Maybe she had a high tolerance for that kind of thing, or maybe the guy got off the bus just before she would have blown up. Drunkie and myself both got off at the same stop, and I walked to where I had parked my car that day. I'm not sure where he went, but at least he wasn't driving.

Banged Up

Last week I saw a high speed car crash just outside my window. First time I've ever seen something like that up close, and its like they say, it seemed to happen in slow motion. Two cars trying to get into the same lane, and when they collided, it sounded like empty Coke cans being crushed.
Hubcaps went flying and both cars flew up onto the boulevard before coming to a complete stop.
Airbags went off in both cars, a guy stumbled out of the Toyota Echo and fell to the ground in pain beside his car. Construction workers closeby rushed the scene, and the other driver in the Prius was in obvious pain, but didn't seem like he could move from his car. The bus was stopped for a while as our driver got out, and we were there for what seemed like half an hour waiting for EMR unit to get there. After looking at my watch I realized we were there less than 15 minutes total.

Of course I got to work later than expected, but thought about the accident, and that was one thing I didn't have to worry about in the morning. The bus is pretty safe, no worries about road rage drivers, until I hop in my car on the weekend ...

Thank You Ipod, SkullCandy and J Cole

Usually, I have no problem being on the bus and overhearing a bit of conversation. In fact, it gives me something to blog about once in a while. But today, I sat across the aisle from a loud talker.

It only took about 5 minutes to realize that if I had to hear this guy speak for the next twenty minutes, it would be torture. And it was very clear that he had no problem speaking non-stop.

" SO I LUCKED OUT AND GOT THIS WOOD-CHIPPING JOB, EH?"

The other guy he was talking to sounded mildly interested, "Oh yeah?"

"YEAH BUDDY! IMAGINE MY LUCK, EH? I'M LOOKING AT MY CHEQUE AND I THOUGHT THEY MADE A MISTAKE!"

His friend's responses, even though he was close by, were almost drowned out by the loud talker's story. The point where I knew I had to get out the iPod was when the story seemed to blend right into another, and at this point, all the friend was doing was saying. "Hmmm" and nodding.

"SO MY DAD, MY DAD HAD THIS GIRLFRIEND. SHE SEEMED NICE AT FIRST, EH? BUT SHE WAS ONLY ABOUT THE MONEY. SHE HATED ME TOO,"

Digging in my bag for my iPod. Come on, where is it?

"EVEN TRIED TO GET SOME GUYS TO BEAT ME UP, EH? OH YEAH, SHE DID ..."

There it is. Yes! Put the new SkullCandy noise cancelling headphones in, pressed play, and all I heard was J Cole - "Lights Please" while the loud talker instantly turned mute. Nice.

The headphones were a good buy. I was kind iffy about the in-ear headphones before, since I always pictured that little rubber piece getting stuck in my ear, but the sound is great, and apparently they're better for your ears than regular headphones, since they don't have to compete with outside noise like crowds and traffic.

And loud talkers on your morning ride.

I Got the Hook Up

Ran into a friend from way back who drives for Winnipeg Transit now. I stepped on the bus and we recognized each other right away. I won't date myself, but this guy was on my soccer team when I was 9 years old. I went to take out my bus pass, and he waved it off, "don't worry about it" style. So now if I ever ride his bus, I know I can ride free. That would be a nice hook up if somehow that could apply to all of the bus drivers, maybe he could spread the word and they could all put my picture on the dash. VIP seating. I would also be able to get friends on for free if they rode with me. It would be like a club hook up, where if my friends and I wanted drinks, the driver would pour from the cooler under his seat. And if I wanted anyone off for any reason, they would have to hit the pavement. So if I didn't like the smell of someone they were out.

That would be the ultimate bus hook up.

Of course, his shift changes every couple of weeks, and the route he drives changes any time. Man! Not really a useful hook up.

Back again ...

Hey! It's been a minute, but I promise more regular updates.  Work, summertime, I really have a ton of reasons I haven't blogged, so like Diddy says, "LET'S GO!!!!!!!" (probably with a few more exclamation points).

Return of the Tassels

I've said it before, but there's definitley a variety of people riding the bus.

For example, on my way home the other day, this guy got on who looked like he was straight out of an 80s heavy metal video. Long shaggy hair, sunglasses, goatee, jeans tighter than any man should legally wear - but the kicker was the leather jacket. Not just your regular standard black leather jacket, but one that undeniably screams "I WANNA ROCK!" Here's the best pic I could find, although it doesn't do it justice.

I hadn't seen one of those for years! Is it possible they're coming back? I hope not. If that's the case I will definitely not be in style.

Don't Read and Drive

So today on the bus ride to work, I happened to sit near the front of the bus, since the other seats were mainly filled. I'm listening to my iPod, enjoying some good old school hip hop, when out of the corner of my eye I noticed something about the bus driver, so I had to do a double take.

This was an older grey haired guy with glasses. He had a medium sized day planner/calendar spread out on the steering wheel, left hand flat on the calendar, and with his right index finger also running along on the calendar grid, I'm assuming looking for a certain date. This was on the highway, and I'm assuming he was driving with his knees for a bit or something. I'm not sure how long he was doing that for, but soon after I noticed he put it away. Really Mr. Bus driver?? Are you telling me you couldn't check that date while the bus was stopped? I know you hear a lot about not using cell phones while driving, but this guy has a bus full of people and he's looking over his calendar instead of watching the road. If bus drivers have bad habits like regular drivers, it makes me wonder what other kinds of things they do that we don't know about while they're sitting up there ...

Shout Outs

The crime news reporter from one of the local TV stations was on the bus recently. I was thinking that if he was a reporter on BET, I probably could have asked him to give me a "shout out" during the evening news broadcast, and he probably would have done it. The show after the news would be something like this:



One of my favorites. Almost true to life BET, no joke!

Almost back ...

Still going back in time with a couple of blog posts. I'll be posting the most recent bus stories very soon.

No Bus for You!

This past winter, when the olympic games were on, I took the bus to work one cold morning as part of my usual routine. I did the park and ride this time, so I was waiting for my express bus, when a non-express one stopped.

I figured that since I was waiting, let me just check with this driver to get an idea of the timeliness of the express this morning. After all, this is the city of Winnipeg in friendly Manitoba, so I knew I wouldn't have a problem getting this info. The bus came to a stop, and a few people got on before me. I stepped in the front door and gave the bus driver a nod. "Excuse me, but do you have an idea if the express is on schedule this morning?" I asked. The driver looked at me as if I had just said something offensive about his mother. He looked away, then back at me. "You know," he sighed, "you get on my bus, asking me these questions. I have a schedule to keep." He spoke with what sounded like a Russian accent. I was a bit taken aback, but awake enough at that time in the morning to reply. "Well, you're a bus driver. That's why I'm asking you. If you don't know, no problem."
Not even a minute later, a woman steps on behind me. "Do you know if the express is coming soon?", she asks.

"Yes, it's coming right away." He says this without hesitation. I stopped for a half second. Nah, it wasn't even worth my time to say anything about it. Just got off the bus and hopped on to the express. As I sat down, and we passed by his bus in a blur of speed, I couldn't help but think that maybe he was upset that the Russians lost to Canada the night before in Olympic hockey. I could just imagine the other bus drivers teasing him that morning when he arrived for work. "Hey Dimitri! Too bad your team couldn't cut it, eh?".
Poor guy.

Overheard Conversations ...

Picture the scenario. Early one morning I sat down on the bus and overheard a conversation these two guys were having. These guys looked like they were maybe university students, maybe in their mid twenties.

Friend #1 : "Hey, so I watched G.I. Joe last night".
Friend#2: "Yeah?"
Friend#1: "Yeah, and jeez, the whole episode they were just screaming at each other, man!."
Friend#2: "Ha ha h - wait - episode? You mean you watched the tv show?"
Friend#1: "Uh, yeah."

I don't know if it was just because it was first thing in the morning, but I couldn't help but laugh to myself as there was that awkward pause when Friend#2 realized that his friend didn't check out the movie, but instead kicked his feet up and checked out the kid's cartoon.